Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Little Things

I was looking for decorations that weren't too tacky for the Daughter's Baby Party and I passed the rack of cards at the Dollar Store, where they have perfectly good cards, two for $1. I started for the Easter card selection, thinking I'd get one to mail to my sister Martha. She loves getting...
And then I stopped myself, you know how you do if you've lost someone to death, even the death of a friendship or love relationship... I won't be doing that anymore. I can't send Martha a card, that she will receive where she is now, anyway.

My Mom has been gone just past twelve years now and I still catch myself, when I come back to town from traveling, thinking about visiting her at the house that she rented within walking distance from mine for her last nine years.

Shortly after Martha passed, I spent an afternoon and evening sorting through her picture albums and a suitcase of her treasures with my sisters Sue and Cindy. We worked and talked around the table on the patio until it got too dark to see what we were doing. We gave it up for the day and went to dinner at a restaurant where Martha and I used to go.

Among the jumble contained in the suitcase were little things that Martha used to have on a knick knack shelf in her room. I took a few of those for momentos -- a tiny blue bird figure that reminded me of the glass "blue bird of happiness" that used to sit in my Mom's front window, a couple of miniature owls, two blown glass dachshunds that I remember being in my parent's whatnot cabinet in every dining room of every house in which we lived, a mini RCA tin containing needles to an old windup record player Mom gave away when we moved back from England when I was twelve, a letter N sealing wax stamp that caught my father's fancy decades ago in Williamsburg.

I gave the owls to the Son and Daughter-in-Law. The other little things sit here and there on my window sills, catching the light, spilling colors from my past.

Wishing you sweet memories, my Dears.
x0 N2


Ms. Moon said...

The dachshunds remind me of the dogs I've been caretaking for my neighbors this past week. I like the glass ones better than the real, I think...
It is so strange to go through a loved one's things after they die. "Why did she keep this?" we ask. And sometimes we will never know but there was some essence there which meant something and so, in a way, it is sacred, even if not to us.

Anonymous said...

The colors that catch the light and spill the past! Love that - I look at most things in color - try to paint to put them on paper, notice all especially in spring. Keep up with your memories because they fill mine with newness. Love the post! Sue

N2 said...

Dear Ms Moon - Yes, exactly: there is a sacredness to the little things left behind by those we love.

Dear Sue - Thanks so much for coming here and honoring these memories with "they fill mine with newness".

Much Love to you Ladies. x0 N2

Kathleen Scott said...

I appreciate the way you weave stories and pictures. Glad you had the time with your sisters, and the family keepsakes as reminders of love.

P. S. The flower picture at bottom is exquisite, like living light.

Anonymous said...

I had that same kind of "Ahaaa" moment today. I saw a picture of Martha on my cell phone picture log and thought to myself that I will never see her smiling face again. Or hear her sweet voice. Or her strong determination. But she is definitely in my heart. And in my head. I have this little ritual that I do every morning. I have a coffee/tea cup that belonged to Mom. And one from one of my sons trips to NY. And one from one of my daughters who lives in the Midwest, and one her two sons made me for {Grand}Mother's Day. And now a Snoopy cup that belonged to Martha. I pick the cup that is beckoning to me that morning and ponder/meditate on our loving soul-filling relationship. It seems to help fill my heart space with fond memories. Please keep posting these wonderful heart remembrances. Much love, Cyn

Bethany said...

this is so hard.
i love the image of you and sisters sitting and remembering, touching and sorting until it got dark.
love the little glass doxies. we lost our two elderly doxies this year.
i think martha will get your cards in a different way now, more direct, she must've felt you sending it right when you thought of her.
your last line went straight to my heart.

swallowtail said...

Where have I been? I missed this beautiful post altogether! My Dad has been 'gone' for 21 years next month. If he were to call Sunday eve., it would be so easy to just tell him what I've been up to lately. For all the years after I left home, he'd call almost every Sun. evening. When I was in the dorms at OSU I would sit in the booth in the hallway and cry, I was so homesick after we'd hang up. I love the little glass dogs. And the sweet, soft photos and words.

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